Helping Hand, Helping Heart
by leviathanscales
Summary: After Merlin came, everyone was happier. And there was one person's new-found happiness that Morgana noticed most of all - now why couldn't she make someone that happy herself? Morgana/Gwen, Shoujo-ai/Slash


**Helping Hand, Helping Heart: Chapter One**

_Well, this is my first Merlin fic. I hope it will span many chapters, but that all depends on how long my muse can keep providing for this idea. xD It runs alongside the series, so there will be brief mentions of canonical events, but for the most part it'll be independent._

_The pairing is Morgana/Gwen, with implied Arthur/Merlin (perhaps to be touched upon but not as a major plot point) and sprinklings of Merlin/Gwen. Possible Lancelot/Gwen later._

--

Ever since Merlin had come, the atmosphere of it all had changed.

Arthur was much easier to manage. Merlin seemed truly to be a blessing - Arthur's whole attitude was different, more careful, more complacent, and there couldn't really have been a better time for Merlin to come along when you considered his impending lessons on ruling. Well, it would probably have made being raised with him a little more of a pleasant experience if he'd come along earlier, but beggars can't be choosers.

Even Uther... he was more open-minded. It was as if Merlin had helped smooth out the King's rough edges, and that was a better thing for the entire kingdom. Why, he even made Morgana feel different. She fancied she could tell when he had arrived at the castle in the morning - before he got his lazy, disorganised arse in, as Arthur so eloquently put it - the atmosphere suddenly become more at ease, and she wasn't just talking about how people stopped rushing around because there was too much to do. Everything just seemed to be more settled. The castle itself seemed to let out a held breath.

And there was one person that had changed... that Morgana noticed the most. In the early part of the morning, when the castle was waking up, Gwen would have a certain crease in the forehead, a slightly worried air about her, although nothig anyone else wouldn't assume was the dull misery of a maidservant. And then by noon... well, she was usually whistling right about then. Morgana remembered her surprise the first time she had noticed the change, realised how happier Gwen was.

She smiled now at the memory, probably making that courtier she just passed rather freaked out by this sudden expression change, which only made her smile all the more. Camelot, and Morgana herself, were truly fortunate to have come across someone who could make Gwen this happy!

Having been so distracted as she turned the corner, it wasn't really that much of a surprise when she found herself staggering backwards against a sudden weight, though she had barely looked up before she knew exactly who she had crashed into.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry," Merlin repeated over and over again helplessly, scrabbling around on the floor to pick up all the pillows he had dropped. If anyone else had looked more amused than apologetic as he did, Morgana might have been a little affronted... but with Merlin it was merely endearing.

"Don't worry about it, Merlin," she said, breaking out into the smile she felt she just _had_ to show everyone; and who better than the man who had caused it all in the first place? Merlin nodded hurriedly, absent-mindedly, grinning back sheepishly, and then ducked around her and continued nearly running through the corridor.

"Oh - Merlin?" she called after him, and he turned in surprise, watching his pillows carefully this time, looking up at Morgana generously, waiting for whatever she had to say. He really was such a sweet boy. "Has Arthur given you a lot of work to do already?"

"_Loads_," he complained, obviously glad to find someone who would listen. "I'd barely walked through the door before he flung about three weeks' dirty washing at me!"

"He actually went to the lengths of finding it all for you? You're a good influence," Morgana said, trying to keep a straight face at the image of Arthur jogging on the spot carrying a huge pile of clothes in anticipation for his _favourite_ servant to arrive...

"I hope he stars showing it some time..." Merlin muttered darkly, then glanced up in surprise, forgetting all annoyance. "Why-why'd you ask? Do you want me to do something for me to?"

"Oh, no, no! I was just asking. That's all."

"Oh... 'kay. See you later!" he added, grinning broadly, then turned and continued bustling on his way. Morgana watched him go, a warm smile growing and bursting free in the form of a laugh - then she too departed.

x-x-x

She opened the door to her chambers, breathing in the sweet smell of a new day's fragrance with satisfaction, closing it very softly behind her; she didn't want to spoil the atmosphere. She stepped forward after a few moments however, not wanting Gwen to wonder what on earth she was doing if she happened to come across her now.

Perhaps she could go into town today... she did need to get a new scarf now that the cold weather was approaching, and she couldn't bear to send someone to get it in her stead... not when it was such a nice day. So Morgana glanced at herself in the mirror, went through to her bedroom briefly to inspect Gwen's handiwork (the bedspread spotless, of course, the day-to-day ritual of cleaning unconditional as ever) and prepared to leave the room.

That was when the very girl she had previously though of opened the door, perfectly on time as usual. Gwen gave her a swift, friendly smile with Morgana reciprocated at once - Gwen's smile was as fair and honest as the girl herself.

"Are you going somewhere, Lady?" she questioned, glancing at Morgana's outdoor robes, blinking in interest.

"Oh... I was..." Morgana trailed off, about to ask Gwen to go for her instead, like any self-respecting girl of her role in the castle would, without any fruther thought. "...just going into the marketplace. I need a new scarf."

"I'll go for you!" Gwen said eagerly, and Morgana wondered whether she was hoping to come across Merlin on the way. She bit her lip, thinking, but then shook her head.

"No, it's fine. I can do it myself," she said, but not unkindly. Gwen looked a little troubled still, so Morgana added, "But... you can come with me if you like. If you aren't doing anything at the moment."

Even with this unusually friendly relationship the two women had - despite their drastically different roles in the castle - this was a strange suggestion. Of course, Morgana believed that you could become friends with your servants. They were humans just as much as anyone, and she wasn't prejudiced, like some of the castle; she could easily tell Uther's reaction to such a thing from his bewilderment at Arthur and Merlin. But although if she had stopped to think, Gwen would probably be rather puzzled, she made no such expression today. Instead her face illuminated again, giving Morgana a wistful squeeze somewhere around the stomach area. It would be nice to pretend that Gwen was so eager about going into town with Morgana, but she knew that the truth lay in that Gwen wanted to catch a glimpse of, or a brief snatch of conversation with Merlin. Her inter romanticism sighed - why couldn't she make anyone this happy herself? She couldn't help but wonder whether it would ever happen.

"Of course. I'll just... um... er, never mind... I need to..." Gwen muttered to herself distractedly, making odd movements with her arms and to the side. It made Morgana laugh, at least until she remembered why Gwen must be flurrying around so.

"We're only going into town! Come on, I want to be back before noon," Morgana said, stepping towards the door, and Gwen put down what she was holding; some sort of folded clothing. Morgana wondered what it was, then forgot about it once they stepped outside.

x-x-x

Unlike Arthur, who seldom went down into the marketplace at all and had no understanding of it, Morgana was at least reasonably independent. She usually got a servant to fetch her sundries for her, and had no idea where she would buy such things, for example, but she still roughly knew the geography of the area without having to resort to maps. But that was... well... sort of as far as it got.

She went down into the inner town a few times a week, usually to look around, on occasion to visit someone, sometimes just to look around at the busy life the majority of the city led. Of course... it was a little difficult to do that, since as soon as anyone caught a look at Uther's ward they would become stiff and clumsy, either avoiding eye contact or making no effort to hide their stares of awe that the Lady Morgana was down _here_. She _was_ considered royalty, after all, since Uther had taken her in, even though she would never even think of referring to him as her father. And she couldn't exactly bring herself to go in disguise just to have a look around and disgrace herself. So it didn't need saying that although she knew the place a little better than Arthur did, it wasn't exactly difficult, and she still didn't know where she was meant to go.

The two of them walked in silence down outside the castle, the guards letting them past without comment. Certainly for Gwen it was probably awkward, but Morgana liked the silence. It was comfortable, and it felt like she wasn't forced to make diplomatic conversation like she usually did. It wasn't until they were a few paces down the road that Morgana stopped, winding to a halt uneasily.

Gwen looked back at her questioningly, only realising that Morgana had paused a few moments afterward.

"I... I don't actually know where to go," Morgana confessed, feeling foolish. Gwen blinked, then her eyes widened and she laughed.

"I forgot... no, of course you wouldn't," Gwen said, looking slightly more confident now, clearly feeling less inferior upon realising that she was more at ease in this environment than the 'Lady Morgana'. Morgana smiled sheepishly, and directed her eyes to the right slightly, tilting her head to try and peer around the corner, where people were milling in and out.

"I think I've seen a shop down there... I saw... a pair of gloves in the window last month... could be a clothes shop..." Morgana mumbled, her face seriously as she tried to remember. Gwen stared, then let loose what could only be described as a scream of laughter and Morgana looked up, startled - was Gwen trying to make fun of her?

"Sorry... sorry! That was so funny! You really haven't been down here since then?"

"Well, I was down here a few days ago," Morgana said defensively. "...but I wasn't buying anything." Her cautious smile grew once she realised Gwen wasn't being mean. The word 'mean' probably wasn't even in Gwen's vocabulary.

"I don't think there's anywhere down there... well, there is ONE, but um... a thrift shop probably isn't the place you're after. Um... there's one down here, though, I guess that has some... nice stuff," Gwen added, looking doubtfully at Morgana. Then she seemed to make up her mind about something, and set off in that direction, Morgana following unsurely behind, having not understood most of what Gwen just said.

It was clear that Gwen had never shopped for Morgana _with_ Morgana. And she'd probably never even shopped _for_ Morgana, not for clothes anyway - usually the royal garments were shipped in. Ugh... this shopping in town business was much more confusing than Morgana had initially predicted...


End file.
